an immigrant’s embarrassing thought

When the day is starting to grow in the far north where i live, things look up immediately. Things that appeared dark, industrial and depressing now are not so bad. At the end of the day Scandinavian living spares you of all the little( and not so little) annoying things that invade your life and disrupt your peace back home. The lack of bugs and insects, general anarchy and loud annoying people in your face all the time: there is a lot to be thankful for when living in a perfectly organised, peaceful community.

At the same time there are things you desperately miss like urban vibe and some healthy chaos, spontaneity, variety, thrill, excitement.

Today while I was on the bus on my way home I had this strange thought that I would like to share with you: This is a great place for someone else. I can imagine that person sitting in my seat by the window,basking in the dim winter light of the growing day, perfectly content to have enjoyed a quiet day,undisturbed thoughts and feelings of security. She looks exactly like me, only she is taller and has a straighter, nicer nose.

For a moment I want to be that content person, more beautiful and less educated. In fact I have the sinful thought that I could swap my two largely useless in Sweden Master degrees for something more superficial. The first Masters in Culture I would swap for a perfectly shaped nose. The second one-the hot one-in International Relations I would swap for more centimeters of height, let’s say 10 centimeters taller.

So I would be left with my Bachelor degree in Communications, a straight nose and a hot bod. Not bad at all. I would be a happy immigrant.

I would be content to show off my skills on a daily basis.

(You might think: “What the hell are you thinking about on the freaking bus?”

…I hear you)

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